oomshi:

hello waiter can i get a milkshake, hold the boys

  • Cops on crime drama: We caught the killer!
  • Me: Not with 35 minutes left you haven't.

slipstreamborne:

Natasha “yeah I don’t have any super-powers so beefy American dude just do me a favor and throw me up in the fucking air because I want to wrassle me an alien (and don’t forget I figured out the big misogynistic baddy’s plan by playing him like a chump and later literally punched some sense into our brainwashed team member lol call me when you need somebody to close the trans-dimensional portal to fucking OUTER SPACE)” Romanoff

teencry:

i remember song lyrics from my favorite songs 5 years ago but i don’t remember what i learned in school yesterday

bakerstreetsdoctor:

lesspopularcultist:

wallflower-jochii:

trustedwings:

rev0lutionary-sleeper:

What

Wat

whut 

Does it help if I tell you it’s an ad for water? It certainly didn’t help me.

What?

(Source: ikantenggelem)

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